Well i talk to my son until i'm blue in the face,
He's a rock n' roll bum, a family disgrace.
He lays around the house, smokes dope and masturbates,
Tell me son, what do you want to be?

Well your a worthless young s*** as i've ever seen,

You know there's much more to life then a c*** magazine.
I'll send you to college, you can earn your degree,
Tell me son what do you want to be?

Dad, i wanna be a gynecologist, study female anatomy.
Ky jelly, rubber gloves, and a flashlight,
Seems like a good job for me.

Well i spoke to my wife, i said what can be done,
With this highly offensive excuse for a son?
He sits at the table, and he belches and he farts,

Then he drinks till he pukes, and he sleeps in his barf.

I went up to his room, didn't bother to knock,
I said 'son we gotta have a talk, but please put away your cock.'
You're a livin' breathin' insult to society,
Tell me son what do you want to be?

Dad, i wanna be a gynecologist, study female anatomy.
Ky jelly, rubber gloves, and a flashlight,
Seems like a good job for me.

Well i was proud of my son, he had earned his degree,
He's a geniune doctor of gynecology.
He's got an office and a nurse and patients galore,
Who could ask for anything more?

Dad, i ain't got a damn thing to be thankful for,
I got sixteen old ladies lined up outside the door.
They all smell like tuna fish, and they s*** on the floor,
To tell the truth, it's a big f***in' bore!

I don't wanna be a gynecologist, study female anatomy.
Ky jelly, rubber gloves and a flashlight,
It aint all that it's cracked up to be.
I don't wanna be a gynecologist, study female anatomy.
Ky jelly, rubber gloves and a flashlight,
It aint all that it's cracked up to be.